Porn is a loaded subject. No, it’s not remotely realistic to have multiple orgasms at the drop of a hat. It can be threatening to a couple’s intimacy when one parter depends on porn to get aroused. And it some cases, mainstream porn can be demeaning to women. And yet, we watch it.
And it’s not just horny 15-year-old boys firing up PornTube: Cosmopolitan surveyed 4,000 women (and 4,000 men) and found that nearly 74 percent of women 18- to 24-years-old watch porn, as well as 16 percent of those ages 25 to 34. “More women are reporting porn consumption than they have in previous decades,” notes Yvonne Fulbright, Ph.D., author of The Better Sex Guide to Extraordinary Lovemaking. “We are a little more liberal than we used to be as far as women pleasuring themselves. Porn is more accessible and there’s more of a variety available, including porn that is geared towards women. They have more out there that’s enticing to them.”
Even Oprah Winfrey has porn recommendations, including Comstock Films’ “Real People, Real Life, Real Sex” series, which focus on real couples. And there are a plethora of female-friendly porn sites available now, such as Hot Movies for Her and Good Vibrations.
Of course, porn is not for everyone. But for those of us who partake, there’s no shame to be had. And watching porn can actually come with some surprising benefits:
- It’s an instant turn-on. “It’s certainly a factor that porn puts people in the mood,” said Fulbright. “Seeing other people engaging in sex boosts sexual arousal, and it helps get blood to the genitals. It’s an aphrodisiac.” Fulbright also notes that watching porn can help facilitate a quickie by getting you or your partner closer to orgasm if you’re short on time.
- Porn is a stress-reliever. Chances are, when you’re watching porn, you’re masturbating — and that’s a good thing. Climaxing from masturbation reduces stress and boosts your mood. “With immediate gratification, it does help the body relax and unwind,” said Fulbright. “It’s an easy way to focus on sex, on arousal, and getting absorbed in something that’s total distraction from everything that’s going on in your life.”
- It lets you explore fantasies you’d never act out in real life. Just because you’ve imagined what it would be like to have your own personal rendezvous with Christian Grey doesn’t mean you’re going to outfit your Red Room Of Pain, I mean bedroom, with whips and chains. Porn is a safe way to view and get aroused by our deepest, darkest fantasies — without any judgment or shame.
- Porn can open up an honest conversation about sex. “There’s a lot of misinformation in porn,” says Fulbright. “Women in porn are always having multiple orgasms. People don’t always realize that it’s fantasy.” Beyond a potential turn-on (when the porn is chosen wisely), viewing porn together can be an opportunity for women to educate their partners about how the female body works sexually and in the real world. “It also invites conversation as far as what you like and what you don’t like, what you want to try or are still not into,” says Fulbright.
