Only six days in to 2015 and we’ve already celebrated some milestone marriages: Cameron Diaz and Joel Madden, the first gay marriages in Florida, and this woman, who married her two pet cats 10 years ago this January.Congratulations to 48-year-old Barbarella Buchner on a decade of marriage to her adopted tabby cats Spider and Lugosi. The Lanzarote, Spain-based web designer told the UK’s Daily Mail, “Before when I had a human relationship, he’d come home and we’d argue over something or he’d what to chat when I don’t want to chat.” Cats don’t chat! Why not marry them!? Buchner continued, “Obviously I don’t have sex with my cats. It’s just pure, spiritual unconditional love on both sides, as simple as that. As long as I’m happy with it, I don’t care.”Three years after adopting Spider and Lugosi, Buchner decided to make their relationship official via our new favorite website MarryYourPet.com. But intra-sapien marriage isn’t all kibble and roses, noted a disclaimer on MarryYourPet:
“Please note that by marrying your pet he/she may be entitled to half your house and all your income. You are not allowed to mistreat your pet in any way. You cannot make him pick up your pants, put up with your nostril hair or use him as a general dogsbody – even if he is indeed a dog. You may not get excessively fat. You may not embarrass your pet at any time. Marriage is for life* or until your contract expires. For further details see full terms and conditions.*You are not allowed to take the life of your pet.NB: On this website we often refer to pets as ‘he’. We want you to know that we’re not sexist, girl pets are great. We’re just lazy typists.”
Let this be a lesson: If you’re looking to marry your pet, always read the fine print.Read More:Now You Can Now Get Married AloneSpeed Date With a Paper Bag Over Your Head“Premium Tinder” Wants You to Pay for Those Photos of Guys With Tigers
