Ah, love. What better way to understand the inner workings of life’s greatest mystery than through the great films of our age such as “A Very Married Christmas” and “I Me Wed”? It’s the depths of winter and we might as well just hunker down with a good/bad movie and some carbs until spring.This Valentine’s Day, please join us as we conduct a formal study of love via trashy-ass movies. Here’s our watchlist calendar to get you through until the 14th:Feb. 2: “Magic Mike” (HBOGo)Let’s set the mood with an instant Valentine’s Day classic. Channing Tatum actually does act between strip sequences in his quest to balance his successful stripper alter ego and with a passion for sanding wood coffee tables. But we all know who the real star is here: Male thongs. Just kidding, it’s choreographed dancing. Watch for: If I have to tell you, start tomorrow.Feb. 3: “Adore” (Netflix)“Adore” weaves the story of mothers/best friends (Naomi Watts (!) and Robin Wright (!!!!!)) whose sons are now grown-up and hot. The “trashy, absurd” plot follows the moms as they seduce one other’s sons against a backdrop of the golden beaches of Australia. 16000/5 stars.  Watch for: A truly incredible set of wooden salad bowls. And the sex.Feb. 4: “Endless Love” (Netflix)Think of this as a sequel to “Magic Mike” (although we’re also getting one of those!). This remake of the 1981 version stars an Alex Pettyfer who’s still all drama, but now he’s got a rich girlfriend and a heart of gold. Will she still want to go to college once she loses her virginity? Dad says, “Not if I can help it!!” Watch for: Rich people doing wrong.Feb. 5: “Chef” (Netflix)In this movie about Twitter and Cuban sandwiches, women cannot stop falling in love with Jon Favreau. Our fair chef makes his way from Scarlett Johansson to Sofia Vergara, stopping in some of our nation’s hungriest cities along the way. Watch for: Doughnuts.Feb. 6: “Runaway Bride” (Amazon Prime)Julia Roberts and Richard Gere team up for a bizarro movie that was created to be watched on Valentine’s Day. Watch as big-city journalist Gere seduces small-town shop owner Roberts despite her aversion to commitment. Watch for: A classic Joan Cusack best friend performance.Feb. 7: “Heathers” (Netflix)Although there’s no inappropriate time to partake in the bloody antics at Westerburg High, Valentine’s Day is a joyous time to revisit the sickest will-they-or-won’t-they of our time: Veronica (Winona Ryder) and J.D (Christian Slater). Watch for: Huge hair and a sweet synth of an 80’s soundtrack.Feb. 8: “Fetching” (Hulu)Snubbed Oscar film or the plotline of your life?: “After ditching her successful fiancé and lucrative law career, independent Liza pursues her dream of owning a doggie-day care.” Watch for: The dogs, the new successful fiancé she’ll inevitably find towards the end.Feb. 9: “Grease” (Netflix)“Grease” is on Netflix. “Grease” is on Netflix. “Grease” is on Netflix. Watch for: Remember when John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John seemed like the perfect couple?Feb. 10: “Her” (HBOGo)The near future is full of lonely, disconnected people who are more connected to their phones than one another. Mmmhmm! Theodore Twombly (Joaquin Phoenix) and his phone’s new operating system with artificial intelligence (Scarlett Johansson), fall in love. Watch for: The deep sadness and weird fashion of the near future.Feb. 11: “If I Stay” (Amazon Prime)After a car accident kills her family, Mia must decide whether to join them in death or return to Earth, where college and her hot boyfriend await. The film is very sad, but the hot boyfriend is in a band. Watch for: The boyfriend really is hot. And so is the dad, kinda.Feb. 12: “Moulin Rouge” (HBOGo)This movie should be playing on a loop on flatscreens in offices alongside CNN. Watch this if you need Ewan McGregor to check you back in to basic values: “All you need is love.” It’s set in Nicole Kidman’s elephant apartment, and you probably remember the words to all the songs. There’s a tango version of The Police’s “Roxanne.” Watch for: The can-can! The accents! That elephant apartment! The soundtrack!Feb. 13: “50 Shades of Grey” (In theaters)Today’s the big day. If you’re going to see it, you might as well see it on opening night.Or: Stay at home with the teddy bear.Feb. 14: “La Bare” (Amazon)This is a documentary about the “most popular male strip club in the world.” What did you think I was going to suggest, “When Harry Met Sally”?Watch for: The great-grandma, grandma, mom, daughter, and granddaughter that have been going to Randy “Master Blaster” Rick’s striptease show since 1979. Together.READ MORE: Valentine’s Day Chocolates That Are Actually Good for You  READ MORE: 5 Sexy Sips and Snacks That Increase Libido

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