1. Your makeup collection consists predominantly of other people’s Clinique gift-with-purchase castoffs.2. You tell everyone you’re into co-washing when, really, you just ran out of shampoo.3. You haven’t done your roots in so long that you’re this close to pulling it off as ombré.

 

4. You’re using Groupons for cosmetic surgery.5. You refer to a tennis ball as “my masseuse.”6. You get all your friends and family gifts for every. single. holiday.7. You only pay the minimum on your credit card each month.

 

8. You’d rather say yes to that threesome than let your boyfriend see your Visa statement.9. You don’t floss.10. You haven’t asked for a raise in years.

 

11. You think retail therapy should be covered by health insurance.12. You think healthy food has to be expensive (and your friends won’t let you pick the restaurant anymore).13. You shop in sneakers.