For most women, cum is a very mysterious substance. It’s sticky, often the consistency of something from the snot family, and can definitely can cause questionable stains if not taken care of immediately. However, if you were to ask your male partner about cum — his especially — you’re likely to be sold a bill of goods.”Of course it bleaches your teeth!” exclaimed a guy I once dated, and according to him it was scientifically proven. I have yet to find any “science” to back up that claim, but I’m sure wherever he is these days, he’s still trying to sell that one to the ladies in his life.While he was lying about ejaculate’s teeth bleaching abilities, there are some interesting benefits (aside from the obvious one: getting pregnant) that cum can offer you on a daily basis. It might be a difficult fact to swallow (pun!), but I promise these are all truths.When this bit of news came out, it was easy to assume it was either a bad rumor or an urban legend started by a bunch of men who were no longer getting blowjobs from their pregnant wives. However, that is not the case.
1. Sperm keeps morning sickness at bay. Semen — whether orally ingested or vaginally injected during sex — is exactly what your body craves to keep nausea in check. The catch, though, is that it has to come from the man who did the impregnating in the first place. How it works is that the genetic makeup of your partner’s cum, when in your body, allows for a “successful maternal immunosuppression.” In layman’s terms, it means your tummy won’t be in such turmoil during the early stages of your pregnancy. Good news, since pregnancy hormones are probably making you super-horny anyway.
2. It has a longer shelf life than you think. Cum, or more specifically, the sperm in the semen, are tricky little devils. You may think that you’ve had sex during the “safe” period of your menstrual cycle, but it’s not quite so simple. Not only can sperm live quite happily outside the body for several hours if they’re encased in their security blanket of semen, but the stuff can in live inside your body for up to five days. Five. Whole. Days. For some women, this can throw off that whole “safe” part of the month. If you’re not on the pill and don’t want to make a mini-you, then you definitely want to use a condom all month long or keep the Plan B morning-after pill on hand. Unless, of course, you’re looking to get pregnant … in which case, congratulations!
3. The flavor of sperm can be changed. The most horrifying blowjob of my life was all thanks to asparagus. It was so bad that afterward, with tears in my eyes, I told the guy I was dating at the time that I was pretty sure he was dying. His cum had never, ever been so foul and potent, so obviously, he was dying. It was only later in the day that we recalled having split an order of garlic sautéed asparagus the night before, and it all made sense.As Samantha Jones once wisely advised, funky spunk is no laughing matter, and this is more importantly true for women who love to give head and give a lot of it. I asked sex therapist Dr. Marianne Brandon, for her two cents on what makes for (relatively) “tasty” or “funky” spunk. Much to my dismay, there has yet to be an official study on the matter. “I know of no controlled studies indicating that certain foods will improve the taste of semen,” explained Dr. Brandon. “Some people believe that a diet of largely fruits and vegetables can improve the taste of semen, while toxins like tobacco, alcohol, or the contents of processed foods can have a negative effect on semen taste. This sounds logical and probably is the case for some men, but since everyone metabolizes food differently, it is likely to work for some men but not all.” It’s worth a try!
4. Sperm is great for depression. Semen is chalk-full of elements that are ideal for taking anyone out of the dumps, including oxytocin, estrone, and the natural anti-depressant prolactin, among others. If this is the case, why wouldn’t you reach for a tall glass of cum every morning? (I kid! That’s disgusting.)A study found that women who refrain from condom use are, on average, less depressed than those who are never go without latex. What it comes down to is that women who are receiving regular doses of semen, either vaginally or orally, have fewer symptoms of depression, less anxiety, and tend to be more affectionate. Affection, especially in the form of cuddling, is also great for depression, so if you make time to give head and get excessive cuddles, you’re well on your way to kissing some of those blues away.
5. Sperm is a wrinkle reliever. When I heard that cum just might be one of the best things for your skin, I scoffed. Again, I assumed it came from a man who had a thing for one-on-one facials (not the kind you get at the spa). While there is a small amount of protein in semen (about the same amount you’d find in the egg white of a large egg), Dr. Brandon told me that she knows of “no research that suggests semen is a good moisturizer.” However, cum does have some pretty hardcore antioxidants (spermine) that are great for fighting wrinkles and diminishing all those lines that you just wish would go away. We already know just how awesome antioxidants are for the body, so why not let your man shower your beautiful face with his wrinkle-fighting juice? It might seem absurd at first, but when you consider that a professional spermine facial will run you about $250, your partner’s suggestion of his brand of facial doesn’t seem so out of the ordinary after all, does it?
